I was married within 6 months of high school graduation, when I was just 18. At the time, my goal in life was just to get married, have children, and live happily ever after, just like the books I'd read all my life promised! Yes, I was a Christian. I'd been saved at the age of 13, and I actually met my husband at church. He had begun attending when a friend led him to ask Jesus into his life. My husband was very good looking, and I knew alot of girls at church thought so, so I really was impressed that he wanted to go out with me. He was 22 at the time, and had been sexually active in the past, but I was a Christian and a virgin, and I wanted to "wait". Well, the pressure became great to give in, and we argued almost every time we went out about sex, and one day it just went too far. I begged him to please stop, but he didn't. I was horrified. I didn't know what to say. I played the situation over and over in my mind! I was ashamed, and felt it was my fault for allowing things to go so far that he couldn't stop. I worried that my parents and best friend would find out. For days, my heart was heavy. I knew sex was for marriage, so I decided that since I really did like this guy, I'd stick with him and hopefully we'd get married soon. And that's just how it happened. He was ready to settle down, and asked me to marry him a month later. I felt we were probably already married in God's eyes, so I jumped right into marriage. We had dated only 3 months, and I found out after we were married that he had been in jail for armed robbery. And that he was raised by a very violent father. And that he didn't see anything wrong with hitting his wife, or calling her names.......

Fast forward a number of years, and I am a divorced mom with children. I'm on welfare. My self-esteem is so low I have to look up to see the carpet! I have nothing but regrets and responsibilities. Life is hard. I am lonely. And I think that all I need to do is find someone to love to fill the cavity of emptiness in my life..... So I begin to date. But I'm not putting the Lord first in my life, so I am dating the wrong men. Men who have no relationship with Jesus, who I have no business being with. But it's hard to be alone, I tell myself (and God). I need help with my kids, and I feel I have so much love to give. Well, I gave and gave and gave, and even lived with one man for 10 months......until I hurt so badly inside that I hardly had a relationship with the Lord. I blamed Him for my divorce and failed relationships! After all, I had done my high school term paper on divorce, I knew the statistics, and I had been determined NOT to let my life go in that direction. Now it had gone so far off course that I had been abused and used by several men, and my relationship with my teenage children was rocky. They didn't have alot of respect for me, and that hurt too. That hurt alot!

But little did I realize that the Lord had His hand on my life! Although I'd made many bad decisions, which seemed small at the time, they'd turned my life into a rough road of disappointment. But the Lord sent a girlfriend into my life. We worked together, and both of us had been raised in church and wanted to find the right path again. We decided to check out a church that we'd heard good things about---they were going to be holding a revival there the very next week! To make a long story short, the Lord really spoke to my heart the first night I went. I can't remember what the sermon was about, I just remember that I felt compelled to go to the altar to pray when it was over. I did....and I ended up crying so hard. All the years of hurt, the rejections, the bad decisions and shame, all came crashing down, and the Lord offered me forgiveness. He wanted to clean my heart and life up, and I asked Him to do that---to forgive me and take control. No matter what, I knew the Lord was the only way I'd ever find happiness. And that night changed my life.

Several months later, I was taking a walk one evening, and praying as I walked along. My life was so sweet now, so full of joy! My heart was just singing inside! I had rebuilt a good relationship with all of my children, and we were close again. I remember telling the Lord that I had finally realized HE was enough for me, and that if He brought a man into my life, that was fine. But I was finished looking for a man, a mate. I only wanted His will for my life, and if He didn't bring someone into my life, I knew that was OK. He was sufficient for me, just like it says in the Bible!

Not long after, I got a really good job at a hospital. It was a dream job! I made more money than I had ever made, and my relationship with the Lord was as sweet as ever. I attended a great church which was my "family", and my good job just rounded out my life. I knew God was in control of everything, including ME! Then my supervisor at work fell on some ice and broke her ankle. She was in her 60's, and had to have surgery with pins to stabilize things, and was off work for 6 weeks. That meant I had to attend a national convention in her place----8 days in Dallas! WOW! God had elevated my life to heights I could never have attained on my own. And that convention changed my life! I ran into a friend of a friend, and from that began talking to my old boss, who I had worked for 5 years before. I was excited, and told him about my experience with the Lord and how forgiveness had changed my life! He, too, had accepted the Lord since the time we had worked together, so we had alot in common! He began calling me (since he lived in another state), and we talked for hours! We enjoyed sharing about Jesus, and getting to know each other all over again. I soon realized that God was bringing us together. G___ respected me, truly cared about every detail concerning me, and I felt he treated me like a queen. I couldn't believe that my boss, someone I held in esteem, felt this way about ME! God had built my life into something beautiful, admirable, and stable! And He gave me G____, who I married and love with all of my heart. I found my prince! And all because I gave my life wholly to Jesus. I let HIM do the choosing, and Jesus gave me the BEST! We have been married over 2 years, and I can honestly say I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. We get along great, and the love, respect, and consideration G_____ shows me is awesome. I truly have the best life has to offer----a wonderful Lord and a great husband!